A Dream Becomes an Adventure!

For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the rainforest. I found it hard to fathom the number of different species of plants and animals sustained by that ecosystem, many we have yet to discover. I would dream of being an adventurer, an explorer, discovering one of those unidentified species, usually some species of orange frogs! Of course those were childhood dreams. As life approached me and reality set in, I came to accept that I would never really get to do any such thing. I had responsibilities, college, a job, a husband, a family, a mortgage. It was fun to think about but I had all but given up on the dream.

Then, my first year of teaching, my teaching partner and friend, Karen, told me about a friend of hers who had received a grant to go to Belize. Apparently it was a special grant just for teachers and you could decide what you wanted to do as long as it would help you become a better teacher. Immediately, my mind started dreaming. Naturally, my first thought was the rainforest. Would it actually be possible to fulfill my dream? That very day, I looked into the grant she told me about, Fund for Teachers.

To my disappointment, I found out you had to have three years of teaching before you could apply. I knew my husband and I were already trying to start our family and I was concerned that in three years I would not be in a place to even consider such an adventure.

As it turned out, not long after that, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. He consumed my life but I still kept a countdown going in a tiny hidden place in my mind, counting down the days until I would reach my third year of teaching, the magical year I could apply.

Towards the middle of my second year, Karen and I were considering applying for a team grant the following year. Whereas it was mostly talk, I became almost obsessed with the idea. I told her I'd like to "rough it" deep in the heart of the rainforest for more than just a few days. I wanted to experience it first hand, up close. I didn't want a "tour" of it, going on trails with 50 other tourists, seeing exactly what was meant to be seen and had been seen by countless others. Karen wasn't too impressed with this idea, not liking the "roughing it" aspect but we still talked and she had her dream, and I had mine.

As the countdown to year three continued, I found out I was pregnant again. It was planned so it wasn't a huge surprise but it would mean putting my dream on hold yet again. It wasn't a huge problem, as a house full of children was another dream of mine, perhaps the most important one of all! I welcomed my second son into the world midway through my third year of teaching. Even though I wouldn't be applying that year, I continued to dream. My fourth year would be the magical year to apply.

As the time to apply approached, I began to research different companies and organizations that would take me where I wanted to go. Unfortunately, most of what I found was for tourists with huge price tags, lots of luxuries, and short durations of time, the bulk of which was spent at their resort, not in the rainforest. After countless searches and websites, I found Global Vision International. It looked like something I might be interested in. The more I looked, the more excited I became. This was what I was looking for! I would spend five weeks in a remote village in the Ecuadorian Amazon working on conservation research and teaching English to the native children! Now all I had to do was put a proposal together and apply!

With the proposal submitted, I had a long two months to wait. I was optimistic but past experiences had told me not to get too excited just yet. As March approached, my stomach fluttered every time I even looked at the mailbox. The notification deadline was still a few weeks away but I kept imagining the letter being there.

It finally arrived and I was shaking when I opened it. The shaking soon progressed to uncontrollable sobbing as my emotions poured out. All the years of waiting and dreaming had just been thrown away. I didn't get the grant.

After a few hours, I got control and pulled myself together. I realized I would just have to try harder next year. I wasn't going to let one little rejection kill my dream. I looked over the proposal, took out the rubric and scored it myself. With confirmation from a few others, I realized where I fell short. I made a few notes and put it away for a while.

A little less than a year passed and it was time once again to apply. I had changed school districts (which I wouldn't have done had I received the grant as it is encouraged to remain in the same district the following year) and I had lost a lot of weight. I was in a much better place in life, emotionally and physically. My boys were older, thus making it a bit easier to be away from them. In hindsight, I realized this was a much better year to pursue the adventure. So, I revamped the proposal, reapplied, and once again, waited.

I went through the same drill as last year, belly fluttering at the mere mention of the mail. I checked the mailbox regularly, something which I don't typically do. Then, on March 25th, I received the letter. It was thin just like the one I had received last year. I figured that if I would have received the grant, the envelope would be full of information regarding the specifics of the grant. I cried before I even opened the letter. Once I arrived home, I parked the car in the garage (which shows my state of mind - I typically park outside on the opposite side of the drive, leaving the inside spot for my husband) and opened the letter. To my surprise, the news was good! I received the grant!!!!! I was about to have a lifelong dream come true. It was actually within reach!!!

I cannot adequately describe the way I am feeling regarding this trip. It is surreal! It seems almost too good to be true. I keep thinking something horrible is going to happen and I am not going to be able to pursue my summer plans. I'm not typically a negative thinker. In fact my husband often gets on to me because I always expect the best and then feel terribly let down if it doesn't work out. I am a dreamer. My head is in the clouds much of the time. I look at life in a romantic sort of way, things are always bigger and better than most would perceive. I make mountains out of mole hills (which sometimes isn't so great).

So here I am, facing the biggest adventure of my life (if you don't count parenting)! I am nervous about being away from my kids but completely excited about this opportunity. I am actually worried I might not want to come back! I am a little apprehensive about the lack of electricity and conveniences I am accustomed to but I know I will adjust. Overall, I am just totally excited about this wonderful experience Fund For Teachers has offered me. Mr. Plank had a wonderful vision! I cannot express enough how very grateful I am to be part of it! I know Fund For Teachers is meant as a thank you to teachers but I feel like I should be the one shouting out thanks! Here I am, a 32 year-old Kindergarten teacher, about to fulfill a dream I have had for almost three decades, a dream I had almost given up on! It's mind-blowing! So, thank you Fund For Teachers for believing in my dream!